Again...

http://colorlines.com/archives/2013/04/who_will_stand_behind_adria_richards_reader_forum.html#commentsTop

I was reading this article...  And sort of disappointed with people.

I will point out that I did not stand behind Adria Richards in her situation and not because it is her race nor her gender.

People are playing their cards and all of them playing the wrong ones for the wrong reasons.

I harp this because I had to go through Sexual Harassment Training a few times and hell, just plain Harassment Training for some of the jobs I worked at.  Not because I was harassing, but because it was one of those mandatory requirements and I had one false accusation levied at me at one point.

The thing that people can't get out of their heads is that harassment is all about the guys making suggestive comments or pushing themselves on women like what we all see on TV or in movies about the 50s-80s and how we are trying to make ourselves seem like we are now 'better than that'.

I grew up in the 70s on up til now and seen some of the older shows about how life was back then.  Do I believe women should 'know their place'?  No.  I am also an Asian.  You know what's funny, majority of the Asian countries are very 'patriarchal' in nature as well, but the ideals are changing from time to time.

So before I get people thinking "Oh, you are just another misogynistic bastard trying to make himself sound like he isn't."  I used to think back when I was a kid, Japanese and Germans were bad...  I grew up watching war movies featuring it.  The irony is...  I also liked japanese toys and my heritage is Japanese American.  As I got older, I started to look at the different views and it transcends racial bounds.

Now I will admit, I am not into certain races in a relationship means, and no, I am not one of those bigots who don't believe in interracial relationships, and I don't dig men being a guy, does not make me a homophobic.  It means what floats my boat is what floats my boat, but I won't expect people to all conform to what floats my boat nor disparage people for their life choices.

When I disagree with Adria, I disagree with how she handled the Sexual Harassment she felt.  Again, I had no problems in the fact she wanted it dealt with and tried to report it.  There is no debate that the intention was good.

What is wrong is how she dealt with it.  I, by no means, feel it was necessary to publically shame two men for what disturbed her.  I felt she should have told them to politely stop, or barring that, contacted the Pycon mangement of the incident with proper evidence for THEM to determine the issue and let THEM deal with it.

When you look at how it was presented...  Not enough information was there.  In fact, from here:

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-205_162-57575905/techie-adria-richards-fired-after-tweeting-about-mens-comments/

She said she was spurred in part by a photo of a young girl on the stage at the time, and the thought that the men seated behind her would make it impossible for the girl to learn programming.

The men were not identified by name.

Richards said she also had confronted a man earlier after he told her what she thought was a sexist joke at the conference.

"There is something about crushing a little kid's dream that gets me really angry," Richards wrote. "Women in technology need consistent messaging from birth through retirement they are welcome, competent and valued in the industry."

 The last paragraph is what keys me into a problem with the situation here.  Given the vague statement here about the comments...  With little context, I wonder about how exactly one goes from the jokes to the accusation of crushing a little kid's dream from a picture.  How exactly is someone's jokes go right to 'destroying a child's dream'? While the men were not identified by name, people are identified in more than one way and the damage has been done.

Let this be a lesson, again not directed to women, and not a misogynistic message either.  As much as the tech industry has to be more sensitive about the comments and words said to women...  Any issue that is 'sensitive' should be dealt with in a 'sensitive' way as well.  No matter how self righteous you feel it needed to be addressed...  Sometimes the crusade or vindication is not always worth the costs it incurs when carried out the wrong way.

Yet another article I have to 'contest' with...

This is from Forbes, that I was reading up on my latest rant fest...

http://www.forbes.com/sites/deannazandt/2013/03/22/why-asking-what-adria-richards-could-have-done-differently-is-the-wrong-question/

Of course, being a guy, I will be assumed the misogynist, but to be honest, the question of:

Asking what Adria Richards could have done differently?

is a fair question.

Now one of the commentors misunderstood what the Author was trying to get at...  But I also question the belief this is the case as well.

The commentor believed that Adria asked to be 'raped', or in this sense, trolled.  The thing is, the most common defense tactic for Rapists is to attack the accuser, to suggest that the victim was 'dressed' like she wanted consentual sex and as is now falsely accusing rape to impugn the credibility of the accused.  Sadly enough, this has been the most common defense tactic in law to get the accused rapists from being prosecuted or busted when there is a lack of forensic evidence to prove the deed was, in fact, criminal.

Now again, in many of my posts... I don't condone death threats, or raping a person or even racial slurs because I don't like the person.  I know many people I find destestable and would wish they get a more than suitable punishment in return for their actions, but I also keep it to myself because people here are prone to foolishly believe I may do something of that nature.

But getting to the point of again stating the above...

Asking what Adria Richards could have done differently...

To be honest, this is not a Rape Attack question.  This is a fair question not with regards to preventing or hiding from a sexual harassment situation, but to not escalate an investigation of sexual harassment.  What I think is failed to be seen here is that what Adria did, given the type of environment we know the internet to be, this isn't the simple "Were you wearing a mini-skirt?  Were you being provacative?"  Those questions are always put up because the defense wants people to put doubt in front of the judge and jury about the situation, due to a lack of hard proof of what had happen, because in most rape cases, it boils down to 'he said, she said' with no unbiased, objective evidence and can be twisted into a distorted picture based on views or beliefs.

The question of what Adria Richards could have done with the situation is again a valid question.  Of course we should not hesitate to report sexual harassment...  But be honest, given the nature of our society, especially the internet, it is very easy to make things escalate to a wildstorm frenzy.

Even giving Adria Richards the benefit of the doubt of not knowing the repercussions of how she handled the situation...  Again, the question is still valid once again on how do we handle a situation that we find offensive and how we report it, be it a man or a woman, because again, an accusation of this sort has to be treated within reason or else a misunderstanding or mistake will poison the reputation of a person.

Lastly, sexual harassment is a serious accusation.  I almost liken it to pointing a finger and accusing someone of being called a murderer or a criminal.  It is marking some random person as being seedy and undesired.  But when it comes down to it, one of the principals of Justice is to presume a person innocent until proven guilty.  Justice has to be balanced by the facts as much as possible, at least, the ideal of proper and true justice.  What has happened here is not justice.

What happened here is a person decided to grandstand on their perception of justice, ignoring one of the principals of how sexual harassment should be handled in a situation.  One of the principals of dealing with sexual harassment was to report it to the organizers.  Let them deal with the situation, but do not pubicize it.

There is a reason for not publicizing it, and it isn't just because of the foolish belief that they are trying to cover it up or 'ignore' it.  It is to protect the REPORTER as well as the REPORTEE of possible retaliation.  Don't forget, human kind is also WELL known for our vindictiveness.  Some of us who feel we have been wronged and not properly compensated for being wronged, will expect payback.  The sad thing of it all, the crusaders of any cause will ignore this fact, hence my reprimanding them in believing what Adria did was 'right'.  Doing the wrong things for the right reasons is rarely the 'right' thing.

The 'Tech Trade' and 'Sexism' argument...

I will admit, most of the 'boys' will still consider the 'tech trade' as a mostly boys club.  But then again, consider this...

Mechanics was also a 'mostly boys club' as well as politics.  Not just cause guys considered it a 'men's' thing to do, but the interest.  Not many women show interest in mechanics or construction or even in the tech world...

Now mind you, I am not saying women don't belong in these areas, but think about it...  Men were so used to the idea that it was 'just the boys'.  Most women would even go as far as to say, "It's a man's thing." too.

Now mind you, I grew up through the 70s, 80s and 90s...  I was there when things were changing and still changing.  We are watching shows like Mad Men today that pointed out those distinctions, and that is a show set in the 50s and 60s.

This even goes back to the tried and true situation of the use of certain words between people.  The silly thing is, change will still take time and we are too invested in the 'changing the world now' to realize that some things are like wounds that can't be undone over night.

Now looking  at this article...

http://www.businessinsider.com/exclusive-why-sendgrid-got-a-bum-rap-for-firing-adria-richards-over-donglegate-2013-3

There is this statement at the end:

Richards has every right to complain about inappropriate sexual comments at a tech conference. There is a sad sexist subculture at many tech conferences and women everywhere are getting fed up. The way to change it is to speak up.

This...  I do agree with.  However, speaking up and blasting people's faces and names to the internet is not the best way to speak up.  I would liken it to taking her picture and posting how she makes off hand jokes about men 'catting about' or 'needing a tighter back end'...  The thing is, this is not only taken out of context, but me hitting on really old coding terms and making it seem like she was commenting with sexual innuendos.  She even makes such comments herself, which seems rather foolish in the 'double standards'.

To be honest, sexualism is going to be something that will not be 'driven' away over night in this situation.  The whole "Political Correctness" bit and "Sensitivity" is way too over-sensitive, and the internet is basically the new 'Wild West' where people are all shooting from the hip and doing things reactively, and like the wild west, we do have our own lynch mobs.

The sad thing is, we have so much 'sensitivity' about a lot of things, but not enough 'sensitivity' in how we handle the situation.